Tag Archives: divorce

divorce

Dividing Marital Assets – Do I Need A Financial Advisor?

Divorce, Uncategorized,

divorceWhen dividing assets as part of a divorce, it is important to remember that even though financial accounts may appear to be fairly equal in dollar value, the nature of the investments may be very different and the financial consequences of dividing investment and retirement accounts can be very different.

In order to avoid a surprise tax or other financial consequence to one or both of the parties, at a minimum, a consultation with a certified financial planner is more than worth the cost.

Related Post: Legal Separation in PA

Clients will sometime question whether the information they need can be found online or through their own internet research.  After all, there is an unlimited amount of information available and there are no doubt “apps” to assist with financial decisions.  But this generic advice usually falls short of providing the information necessary to make educated decisions.

Investment decisions depend on an individual’s age, current financial situation, liabilities and a myriad of other variables.  It makes sense, therefore, to meet with a financial planner to see what they can offer and to perhaps establish a baseline and create a plan to divide assets that will be beneficial to both parties.

The next question – how does one choose an individual to help with financial planning?  The following are a few of the pointers to guide you:

Don’t confuse financial planners with stockbrokers, accountants, or tax preparers.  Look for a Certified Financial Planner (CFP).   The CFP has received special training, testing and certification in the area of personal finance.

Don’t rely on credentials alone.  Check an individual’s reputation in the community.  Research the individual online.  Talk to friends and relatives who have experience with the individual you are considering.

Run a background check.  Look for criminal records or investigations by regulatory bodies.

Finally, don’t forget to clarify how you will be billed – by commission or by a charge for services rendered.  If “for services rendered” are you billed a flat fee or at an hourly rate.

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child custody

How to Help Children Cope with Divorce

Child Custody,

How to Help Children Cope with DivorceThere is no question that separation or divorce is stressful on everyone involved, but it can be particularly stressful for children of the separating or divorcing couple.  The degree of stress varies, though, as not all children will react the same to this significant life event.

Depending on the age of your child, you may see visible signs of stress if you are going through a divorce or separation.  Your toddler may struggle with transitions between households, which can bring on changes in their eating habits or sleep patterns.  Your well-behaved elementary school child may start acting out with classmates or teachers.  Your smiling teen may become angry, sullen and resentful.

There are many things that you can do to help children cope with divorce or separation:

  1. Making every effort to respectfully and amicably co-parent with your ex is the best way to help your child cope with the transition.
  2. Keep the kids out of the middle by not seeking information from your son about your ex’s household or expecting your daughter to convey information to your ex about divorce or custody issues.
  3. Monitor your children’s friendships and social media activity for signs of concern and maintain an open-door communication policy with your children

You may not see any signs of stress in your child, but that does not mean he or she is not suffering; they may just be doing so silently because they do not want you to see how the separation or divorce is affecting them.

They are the children of clients who tell me that Joey is fine or Janie is handling things well.  Your child may be fine with the separation or divorce because it means less stress in their lives if their parents are no longer arguing and at odds, but they may also be struggling and unsure of how to tell you.

Whether your child is showing obvious signs of stress or seems to be just fine with the separation or divorce, it is important to consider consulting with a mental health professional to, at a minimum, give your children extra tools to cope.

Consider Working with a Mental Health Professional

I have worked with many mental health professionals throughout my career in family law, and one thing that I have heard repeatedly from most of them is that parents should be encouraged to engage a mental health professional at the start of a separation to evaluate exactly how their children are managing and adapting.   Because children’s reactions to a separation or divorce can change as time progresses, the benefit of engaging a child therapist early in your separation or divorce is so the professional is available at any time during the transition.

Sometimes a therapist will agree that the child is doing quite well in the beginning and Mikey or Mindy does not need therapy at the present time.  However, if an issue arises as the separation or divorce advances, the therapist has already met the child and is familiar with the situation and can quickly step in to help.

Finally, don’t forget to practice self-care if you are going through a separation or divorce.  Managing your stress level will help your kiddo manage his or hers.

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Free Seminar: Protecting Your Pets & Other Unique Assets

Seminar,

Worried about providing for your “animal” family? Who gets great grandma’s china? Is that painting on your wall really worth anything? How do you divide up your “stuff” in the house? These and other “unique” assets will be discussed.

When: Wednesday, September 19, 2018

Where: 635 n. 12th Street Lemoyne, PA 17043

Contact Donna at 717-724-9821 to reserve your seat today!

Mediation – An Excellent Approach to Resolving Divorce and Custody Matters

Divorce, ,

Mediation – we all hear about the use of mediation and mediators to assist management and major league football, basketball and hockey players resolve salary disputes.  This fall we listened as mediators assisted in the resolution of the Chicago teachers strike.

Mediation is a process that is contractually mandated in many business settings.  And for good reason – the process is effective, avoids litigation and in most instances permits disputing parties to resolve their differences and move on.  The mediation process can be just as effective and beneficial in helping individuals who are embroiled in divorce and custody disputes.

What is mediation?

The textbook definition of mediation is “a process in which a professionally-trained individual acts as an impartial third party to help resolve disputes.”  The mediator facilitates the negotiation process.  That definition works for labor disputes and disputes in the corporate world.  But, further explanation is necessary to explain why the process is just as effective for parties embroiled in family disputes.

The mediation process offers parties an opportunity to talk with each other in a safe neutral setting to see if they can resolve problems in a manner most appropriate to their individual situation.  The process helps parties have a conversation that permits them to decide issues, thereby guaranteeing that their lives and the lives of their children are decided by them and not by a Judge or other third party.

The process is designed to make the parties feel safe for several primary reasons.

First, it is completely voluntary.  Both parties have veto power and no one can be forced to reach an agreement with which they are not comfortable.  Either party can end a session, or, for that matter, stop the whole process at any time.  Even Court ordered mediation only requires that parties attend – not settle.

Second, the process is confidential.  The mediator talks to no one outside of a session, unless permission is given by both parties.  Likewise, the parties agree not to use in litigation, if that occurs, conversations from their mediation sessions.

Finally, the mediator is neutral and helps both parties identify what is important to him or her and to hear what is important to the other party.

The mediation process has been utilized successfully in all settings and should be seriously considered as an alternative to litigation in custody and divorce matters.

In a Pennsylvania divorce should couples consider remaining under the same roof?

Divorce, Family, , ,

It seems that more and more separating and divorcing couples are in a position where they continue to reside together for extended periods of time after one or both parties makes the decision to separate or divorce.  One reason for the decision to remain under the same roof is financial.  Often times couples are not in a financial position to separate.  Maybe one person may have been a homemaker and not work outside of the home, making living separate and apart financially impossible.  Or maybe the parties need to first sell the home which is difficult in this down real estate market.  Another reason that parties are continuing to remain together under the same roof is the children.

More and more couples do not want to move from their marital residence until there is some custodial arrangement in place for the children.  More often than not, both parties are actively involved with their children and want to ensure that they maintain that involvement after separation.  As a result, parties are choosing to remain under the same roof until some decision is made about a custody schedule for the children.  Prior to the amendments to the Pennsylvania Custody Laws which went into effect in January 2011, if parties were not able to agree on a custody schedule prior to separating from one another, they had to separate before they could proceed with a formal custody complaint.  While some counties in Pennsylvania would allow the filing of a complaint if a separation was imminent, the law did not specifically allow the filing and therefore, many counties would not entertain a custody complaint while parties were still living together…until now.  The custody law now specifically allows parties still residing together to pursue formal custody actions.  However, any order entered – whether by agreement or by court order – is not effective until the parties physically separate.

While the ability to file a custody action when parties are still living together has been helpful to those couples wanting a custody scheduling in place before separating, there are still a lot of unknowns that may impact the ability to determine what is in the best interest of the children.  First and foremost, where will the parties be living?  Will one be staying in the marital residence?  Will one or both parties they both be moving?  If so, where?  Are the children in school?  If so, will any move take a parent into a new school district?  These are just a few of the many questions to consider when pursing a custody action while still living together.  The more answers that parties have to these questions, the more prepared they will be in moving forward with a custody action prior to physically separating.

Summer – The Season of Weddings, and Pre-nuptial Agreements

Family, , ,

Why you Need a Pre-nuptial Agreement
Sandy Meilton

ring-150x150It’s the summer season – the season of weddings.  While weddings and marriages are often fun-filled and full of hope, the stark reality is that many marriages end in separation and divorce.  In 2010 there were 2,096,000 marriages.

There were also 872,000 divorces or annulments in 2010.  The question is how to protect yourself in the event of a divorce?  Pre-nuptial agreements are one of the most useful and easiest answers to that question.  Simply stated, a pre-nuptial agreement is a written agreement between two people who are about to marry that sets out the terms of possession of assets and control of future property; the document can also address the issues of spousal support and alimony.  Here are some of the benefits of a pre-nuptial agreement:

1.         A pre-nuptial agreement can reassure the parties that the marriage is not being entered into for financial gain.  This reassurance can help to remove some of the hesitancy parties might feel moving forward with a marital commitment.

2.         Pre-nuptial agreements eliminate the uncertainty of what will happen to the parties’ finances and assets in the event of a divorce.  This certainty is important to alleviate concerns, especially where one party has significantly more assets and/or a much higher earning capacity than the other, or, where one or both of the parties have children from a prior relationship.

3.         In the unfortunate event that a marriage ends in separation or divorce, a well drafted pre-nuptial agreement can make the transition from the relationship much less stressful to all involved.  If the financial aspects of the divorce can be determined quickly and with minimal hostility, the parties can more quickly focus on and deal with the emotional upheaval surrounding the divorce.

4.         Finally, where children are involved in the separation, the resolution of the financial matters permits the parents to deal more quickly and effectively with the emotional trauma the children will experience as they adjust to life in a separated family.

My point is simple:  a well drafted pre-nuptial agreement can allow the parties to amicably agree to divide their property when cooler heads are prevailing, and while both parties can look at the other sides’ perspective.  Addressing these issues up front paves the way for a smoother dissolution should the unfortunate need arise in the future.

All of this leads to one simple suggestion – before you say “I do”, be sure to sign on the dotted line.